What Happened Then

It was the Kingdom of Heaven on the side of the road
A neon sunset, silver and gold
Our throats were parched, dusty and dry
And the beer was of the cold and inexpensive kind
Jimmy looked at me, I looked at him
And I don’t have to tell you what happened then

We were mid way through our seventh round when the jukebox started up
Playing Sweet Home Alabama for a gang of biker toughs
And being less than sober I dropped a quarter in
And punched J4, you guessed it, Southern Man
When that record dropped and when it began to spin
Well I don’t have to tell you what happened then

There were busted chairs all over and glass everywhere
I was barely conscious, Jimmy almost dead
But when the cops arrived and asked who started this mess
The bartender looked over and nodded at us
One pulled out his cuffs and one his pad and pen
And I don’t have to tell you what happened then

They took us to the drunk tank, they tossed us in
With Shane McGowan and the Presidential twins
The jailer came by and a quarter to three
Said boys you’ve got a visitor, a radical priest
He was waiting for us with a Newsweek magazine
And I don’t have to tell you what happened then

That jalopy rattled on through old New Mexico
We were running from the police and that dustbowl
He said they call me Casey and I’m just back from the war
And I’ve been working for the union since the day I was born
And when the gun thugs caught us out there on Highway 10
Well I don’t have to tell you what happened then

I woke up the hold of a dilapidated ship
With a pounding headache and a cask between my lips
We were captained by a man named after a bird
And we were headed for the end of the world
And just when I thought that things were not looking so grim
Well, I don’t have to tell you what happened then

The waves came crashing down, the sky opened wide
And in the middle of the ocean there is no place to hide
I must have looked heavy laden with sin
Because they came and took me to the rail and threw me in
And that leviathan was waiting for me there, my friends
And I don’t have to tell you what happened then

When I dragged my soggy self up onto the sand
I found Robinson Crusoe there and took him for my man
We were stranded on that island for a year and a day
Until Amelia Earhart came and flew us away
We were over Kiribati when Tokyo Rose came in
And I don’t have to tell you what happened then

Well the moral of this story, if such a thing exists
Is to always tell the better part of the news that fits
If your name is nothing, your country a mess
Don’t give up ‘til you’re met with success
Because it’s never over ‘til the fat lady sings
And I shouldn’t have to tell you what happened then